And guess what? There's NOTHING there.

 So tomorrow is my last class of the semester.
I've finished my history & my english class & all I have to do is finish my humanities class.
I took my history final today & I'm pretty sure I got at LEAST a B, & I finished my english class with an A for the semester.
I'm really really proud of myself, even if no one else is for me.
I'm just sad that the year is almost over..
It just sucks cause so many great things happened in 2009.
I graduated high school, I fell in love, I started college, I turned 18, & I've just had so many great times.
I hate to see it end.

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ANTM Cycle 11: Joslyn.

You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.
-Anais Nin

I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.'" Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name. If they say, "We're the So-and-Sos," take a walk. And if, somehow, you must join, if it's unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. But don't participate; it will be your death. And if they tell you you're not a team player, congratulate them on being observant. — George Carlin

[ Political Issues photo shoot.
Issue: Unemployment. ]

When I came out into society I was 15. I already knew then that the role I was condemned to, namely to keep quiet & do what I was told, gave me the perfect opportunity to listen & observe. Not to what people told me, which naturally was of no interest to me, but to whatever it was they were trying to hide. I practiced detachment. I learned how to look cheerful while under the table I stuck a fork onto the back of my hand. I became a virtuoso of deceit. I consulted the strictest moralists to learn how to appear, philosophers to find out what to think, & novelists to see what I could get away with, & in the end it all came down to one wonderfully simple principle: win or die.
( Dangerous Liaisons )

To change this world you need the heart of a lion. To change this world you need the faith of a child. Don't you know you need to touch a billion people to get your message heard & change this world? To be a hero you've gotta tangle with danger. Holding onto nature & never letting go. Don't you know you need to stand and shout out loud to make your message heard? To change this world. & all at once voices from the wilderness will be calling out your name. Now we're apart those voices fill my heart. To change this world, crikey, what an adventure? To change this world & make it a better place don't you know we need touch touch a billion people & make your message heard. To change this world. You changed my world.
( To Change This World ; Daniel McGahan )

Two years ago, I was afraid of wanting anything. I figured wanting would lead to trying and trying would lead to failure. But now, I find I can't stop wanting. I want to fly somewhere in first class. I want to fly to Europe on a business trip. I want to get invited to the White House. I want to learn about the world. I want to surprise myself. I want to be important. I want to be the best person I can be. I want to find myself instead of having others find me. I want to win and have people be happy for me. I want to lose and get over it. I want to not be afraid of the unknown. I want to grow up to be generous and big-hearted, like other people have been with me. I want an interesting and surprising life. It's not that I think that I'm going to get all of these things; I just want the possibility of getting them. College represents possibility. The possibility that things are going to change. I can't wait. - Friday Night Lights

Old Paul Edgecomb: I think Mr. Jingles happened by accident. I think when we electrocuted Del, and it all went so badly... well, John can feel that you know... and I think a part of... whatever magic was inside of him just slept through my tiny friend here. As for me, John had to give me a part of himself; a gift the way he saw it, so that I could see for myself what Wild Billy had done. When John did that; when he took my hand, a part of the power that worked through him spilled into me.
Elaine Connelly: He... what? He infected you with life?
Old Paul Edgecomb: That's as good a word as any. He infected us both, didn't he, Mr. Jingles? With life. I'm a hundred and eight years old, Elaine. I was forty-four the year that John Coffey walked the Green Mile. You mustn't blame John. He couldn't have what happened to him... he was just a force of nature. Oh I've lived to see some amazing things Elly. Another century come to past, but I've... I've had to see my friends and loved ones die off through the years... Hal and Melinda... Brutus Howell... my wife... my boy. And you Elaine... you'll die too, and my curse is knowing that I'll be there to see it. It's my torment you see; it's my punishment, for letting John Coffey ride the lightning; for killing a miracle of God. You'll be gone like all the others. I'll have to stay. I'll die eventually, that I'm sure. I have no illusions of immortality, but I will await your death... long before death finds me. In truth, I wish for it already.
- The Green Mile <3

[ Natural Disasters photo shoot.
Disaster: Rockslide. ]

Paul Edgecomb: On the day of my judgment, when I stand before God, and He asks me why did I kill one of his true miracles, what am I gonna say? That is was my job? My job?
John Coffey: You tell God the Father it was a kindness you done. I know you hurtin' and worryin', I can feel it on you, but you oughta quit on it now. Because I want it over and done. I do. I'm tired, boss. Tired of bein' on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. Tired of not ever having me a buddy to be with, or tell me where we's coming from or going to, or why. Mostly I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world everyday. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head all the time. Can you understand?
- The Green Mile <3

[ Award Show Mishaps photo shoot.
Mishap: Another star is wearing the same dress. ]

"[She] keeps her own life a secret from herself. She repeats things until they are true, or until she can’t tell whether they are true or not. She has become an expert at confusing what is with what was with what should be with what could be. She avoids mirrors, & lifts a powerful telescope to find herself. She aims it into the sky, & can see, or so she thinks, past the blue, past the black, even past the stars, & back into a different black, & a different blue—an arc that begins with her eye & ends with a narrow house." -Everything Is Illuminated

If there's one thing I've learned it's that there would be no gossip without secrets. You might be brave enough to reveal your secret only to have it used against you. Or someone else's secret might affect you in unexpected ways. There are some secrets you are only to happy to keep. Others surface only to be buried away deeper than they were before. But the most powerful secrets are the truths you thought you could never reveal. That once spoken, change everything.
- Gossip Girl

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be. White dress, Prince Charming who'd carry you away to a castle on a hill... You'd lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming. They were so close you could taste them. But eventually you grow up. One day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it's hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely 'cause almost everyone still has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they'll open their eyes and it will all come true. At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale might be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important that it's happy ever after, just that it's happy right now. See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in a while, people may even take your breath away.
- Greys Anatomy

"When adults say, "Teenagers think they are invincible" with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broke. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail." -Looking For Alaska

It was a Thursday morning, you were wearing that ratty little "Dartmouth" T-shirt you look so good in, the one with the hole in the back of the neck. You'd just washed your hair and you smelled like some kind of... flower. I was running late for surgery. You said you were going to see me later, and you leaned to me, you put your hand on my chest and you kissed me. Soft. It was quick. Kind of like a habit. You know, like we'd do it everyday for the rest of our lives. And you went back to reading the newspaper and I went to work. That was the last time we kissed
- Grey's Anatomy

"I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off." ~ Tyler Durden Fight Club

Doctor Manhattan: Thermo-dynamic miracles... events with odds against so astronomical they're effectively impossible, like oxygen spontaneously becoming gold. I long to observe such a thing.And yet, in each human coupling, a thousand million sperm vie for a single egg. Multiply those odds by countless generations, against the odds of your ancestors being alive; meeting; siring this precise son; that exact daughter... Until your mother loves a man she has every reason to hate, and of that union, of the thousand million children competing for fertilization, it was you, only you, that emerged. To distill so specific a form from that chaos of improbability, like turning air to gold... that is the crowning unlikelihood. The thermo-dynamic miracle.
Laurie Juspeczyk: But...if me, my birth, if that's a thermodynamic miracle... I mean, you could say that about anybody in the world!.
Dr. Manhattan: Yes. Anybody in the world. ..But the world is so full of people, so crowded with these miracles that they become commonplace and we forget... I forget. We gaze continually at the world and it grows dull in our perceptions. Yet seen from the another's vantage point. As if new, it may still take our breath away. Come...dry your eyes. For you are life, rarer than a quark and unpredictable beyond the dreams of Heisenberg; the clay in which the forces that shape all things leave their fingerprints most clearly.
-From Alan Moore's "Watchmen"

Meredith: [narrating] To do our jobs we have to believe defeat is not an option. That no matter how sick our patients get, there's hope for them. But, even when our hopes give way to reality and we finally have to surrender to the truth, it just means we've lost today battle. Not tomorrows war. Here's the thing about surrender, once you do it, actually give in, you forget why you were eve fighting in the first place.
- Grey's Anatomy

You broke my heart just to see what was inside.

I'm almost finished with my first semester of college :)
I bought my mom & Nathan's Christmas presents.
I should be getting a good amount of money back, from selling my school books.
And I have a good amount of money in the bank.
Things are just going really well :)
I hope they stay like this, I really do.

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ANTM Cycle 11: Isis.

01.
A racing heart can indicate anything from a panic disorder to something much, much more serious. A heart that flutters, or one that skips a beat, could be a sign of secret affliction or it could indicate romance which is the biggest trouble of all.
It seems we have no control whatsoever over our own hearts. Condition can change without warning. Romance can make the heart pound just like panic can. And panic can make it stop cold in your chest. It’s no wonder doctors spend so much time to keep the heart stable, to keep it slow, steady, regular to stop the heart from pounding out of your chest from the dread of something terrible or the anticipation or something else entirely.
- Grey's Anatomy

02.
Endings are never easy. I always build them up so much in my head that they can't possibly live up to my expectations and I just end up disappointed. I'm not even sure why it matters to me so much how things end. I guess it's because we all want to believe that what we do is very important. That people hang on to our every word, that they care what we think. The truth is, you should consider yourself lucky if you even occasionally get to make someone, anyone, feel a little better. As my mind drifted to faces I've seen before, I was taken to memories of family, of coworkers, of lost loves... even of those who have left us. And as I rounded that corner they all came at me in a wave of shared experience. And even though it felt warm and safe, I knew it had to end. It's never good to live in the past too long. The future can be whatever I want it to be. And who's to say this isn't what happens? Who can tell me that my fantasies won't come true, just this once? - John Dorian

[ Political Issues photo shoot.
Issue: Privacy. ]

03.
Chuck: Listen...Blair
Blair: No me first... Nate's waiting for me to give an answer
Chuck: I heard.
Blair: Don't you want to know what's stopping me?... I can't answer his question when I am waiting for you to answer mine. The one I asked you forever ago... What are we Chuck?
Chuck: Blair....
Blair: Last fall you said we couldn't be together and I believed you. But everytime I try to move on, you're right there. Acting Like...
Chuck: Acting like what?
Blair: Like...Maybe you want me to be as unhappy as you are.
Chuck: I would never wish that on anyone. I want you to be happy.
Blair: Then look down deep, into the soul I know you have and tell me if what you feel for me is real...or if it's just a game. If it's real, We'll figure it out...all of us...and if it's not...Then please Chuck, just let me go.
Chuck: It's just a game. I hate to lose. You're free to go.
Blair: Thank you
*Blair leaves*
Serena: Chuck, why did you just do that?
Chuck: Because I love her. I can't make her happy.
-Gossip Girl

04.
In real life, I'm not a photographer. I don't travel as much as I should, and I take the same route to work nearly everyday. Once I began searching for lost shoes, I started to see my world a little differently. Since I never knew when or where I might come across a lost shoe, everyday errands became journeys in and of themselves, and my once mundane commute, an adventure that I got to take twice each and every day. I learned that my same old work route wasn't the same at all - it changed all the time. The dirt and leaves in the gutter, the shards of broken glass and bits of rubber on the center divide, the cigarettes, the twine, the newspaper, the toy, the shoe – they come and go, and now I notice. I suppose everyone is searching for something - something that will make them drop whatever it is they are doing whenever it comes along. I know it may sound strange, but for me, it's a lost shoe. I don't know why finding a lost shoe is so intriguing – more than the toys, the books, the shirts, the tools. Maybe because it reminds us of our own loneliness – of somehow being abandoned and becoming lost in plain sight. Maybe because it's just hard to imagine how someone wouldn't notice that they are missing just one shoe. Whatever the reason may be, I know that each time I find a lost shoe it's like discovering a mysterious secret that lots of people might see, but only I notice.

05.
Quentin Fields was a basketball player. He was also a son. A brother. Somebody's teammate. Somebody's friend. I never knew Quentin Fields and I guess now I never will. Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren't you anymore? If you were suddenly gone how would your world react? Whatever you imagined was wrong. There's nothing romantic about death. Grief is like the ocean: it's deep and dark and bigger than all of us. And pain is like a thief in the night. Quiet. Persistent. Unfair. Diminished by time and faith and love. I didn't know Quentin Fields but I'm jealous of him because I see how his absence has affected the people that did know him so I know that he did matter to them. And I know he was loved. People say Quentin Fields was a great basketball player. Graceful. Fluid. Inspiring. They say on a good night it almost seemed as though he could fly. And now he can.
- One Tree Hill

06.
"Well, the universe is a pretty big place."
--"Yeah. It's infinite, theoretically."
"Right, which means there's probably life on other planets."
--"Not life like we think, but yeah. Probably at least single-cell organisms."
"Well, see, that's my whole point. I mean you could've been born a single cell organism on the planet Zortex. In fact, given the odds, it's probably more likely, but you weren't. You were born a human being. And not just any human being in the history of human beings, but a human being that gets to be alive today. That gets to listen to all kinds of music, that gets to eat food from every culture, that gets to download porn off the internet. So really, you have everything to live for."
- Charlie Barlett

07.
Tomorrow, on those long sofas of group therapy, we’ll both claim we want to die. But we’ll mean: Please someone convince us to stick around. Remind us over and over that we deserve to drink even the milk left over in the cereal bowl, to sop up what’s left on our plates with bread. Because last night, we stood on top of fourteen floors of suffering—from maternity to the morgue. Hundreds of legitimate illness, thousands of plastic sacks of donated blood—We stood above all of it and did not leap. Neither of us even dangled from the grainy ledge or balanced on one foot on that parapet. Let’s be honest here—we’ve hardly approached any edges at all.
--You Remind Me Of You

08.
Dear Molly, this is gonna sound a little strange but I'd like you to paint over my old closet door.
The thing is, there is never a time when you will be more honest, & your convictions will be stronger & your motives will be more pure than they are right now.
Which means you should chase whatever excites you.
Be confident, and take risks, & paint over my words so you can start writing your own.
My story may have inspired you, but I'm certain your story will inspire the next girl to live in our room.
I want you to know you don't need somebody to write about you in order for your life to mean something.
You can write about yourself... make your own destiny.
Then years from now, the next girl will keep what you write on that door long enough to remind you how inspired your life is.
& you can tell that girl to paint over the door because you realize the words you wrote, the friends you had, the urgency you felt, will always be there under the paint.
The love you professed will always be there, the spark of something undeniable, a seed of hope, the truth for better or for worse burning fiercely just below the surface.
Love Peyton.
-One Tree Hill

09.
"My thoughts about the world were shaken. Like driving along a bumpy road and losing control of the steering wheel, tossing you - just a tad - off the road. The wheels kick up some dirt, but you're able to pull it back. Yet no matter how tightly you grip the wheel, no matter how hard you try to drive straight, something keeps jerking you to the side. You have so little control over anything anymore. And at some point, the struggle becomes too much - too tiring - and you consider letting go. Allowing tragedy...or whatever... to happen."
- Thirteen Reasons Why

10.
"Think of the impact if the first thing radical feminists thought of when the conversation truned to evangelical men was that they had the best reputation for keeping their wedding vows and serving their wives in the costly fashion of Jesus at the cross. Think of the impact if the first thing the homosexual community thought of when someone mentioned evangelicals was that they were the people who lovingly ran the AIDS shelters and tenderly cared for them down to the last gasp. A little consistent wholesome modeling and costly servanthood are worth millions of true words spoken harshly." - What's So Amazing About Grace, Philip Yancey

11.
No, idiot. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small - like - like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level, like I'd never be enough for her or something like that, you know what I'm saying? But, what I did not get, she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was - she was looking for me, for - for the Bob. But, uh, by the time I figure this all out, it was too late, man. She moved on, & all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But, I pushed her away. So I've spent every day since then chasing Amy... so to speak.
( Chasing Amy )

12.
"Emotions, in my experience, aren’t covered by single words. I don’t believe in “sadness,” “joy,” or “regret.” Maybe the best proof that the language is patriarchal is that it oversimplifies feeling. I’d like to have at my disposal complicated hybrid emotions, Germanic train-car constructions like, say, “the happiness that attends disaster.” Or: “the disappointment of sleeping with one’s fantasy.” I’d like to show how “intimations of mortality brought on by aging family members” connects with “the hatred of mirrors that begins in middle age.” I’d like to have a word for “the sadness inspired by failing restaurants” as well as for “the excitement of getting a room with a minibar.” I’ve never had the right words to describe my life, and now that I’ve entered my story, I need them more than ever."
-Middlesex

13.
You're such a violent scheme, you say I looked beautiful on my knees. I say I looked better on my back, only in the backseat of your car. Looking out through the skylight at the blanket of stars, that night was a whirlwind, that just flew by. You're the only one in the world who knew I sinned, a sin that made me cry. Do you ever think that we'd be different, if our paths had never crossed? What if we could go back and do it all again, do you think we'd do it different? I wouldn't, I wouldn't change a thing. What if you never broke my heart or I never let you back in? But I'd always let you back for more. I always would because you said I looked beautiful on my knees.

14.
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed and dry cleaners depressed?
Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted! Even more, bedmakers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers will be deflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, software engineers will be detested, and even musical composers will eventually decompose.

15.
An Addict is an addict. It doesn't matter whether the Addict is white, black, yellow or green, rich or poor or somewhere in the middle, the most famous Person on the Planet or the most unknown. It doesn't matter whether the addiction is drugs, alcohol, crime, sex, shopping, food, gambling, television or the fucking Flintstones. The life of an Addict is always the same. There is no excitement, no glamour, no fun. There are no good times, there is no joy, there is no happiness. There is no future & no escape. There is only an obsession. An all-encompassing, fully enveloping, completely overwhelming obsession. To make light of it, brag about it, or revel in the mock glory of it is not in any way, shape or form related to its truth, & that is all that matters, the truth.
 A Million Little Pieces

Get back, you don't know me like that.

Today was a greattt day.
I hung out & shopped with my best friend Jessica, who I haven't gotten to hang out with in months & then I hung out with my boyfriend for the rest of the night.
I feel really happy about everything right now.
Mhm :)
EXCEPT MY COMMENTS *hint hint, wink wink.*

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ANTM Cycle 11: Hannah.

"Our children will be born of our actions. Our accidents will become their destinies. Oh, the actions will remain. It is a simple matter of what you will do when the chips are down, my friend. When the fat lady is singing. When the walls are falling in, and the sky is dark, and the ground is rumbling. In that moment our actions will define us. And it makes no difference whether you are being watched by Allah, Jesus, Buddah, or whether you are not. On cold days a man can see his breath, on a hot day he can’t. On both occasions, the man breathes." -White Teeth

"We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don't mean. We make promises we don't keep. "I'll call you." "Let's get together." We know we won't. On the Human Interaction Stock Exchange, our words have lost almost all their value. And the spiral continues, as we now don't even expect people to keep their word; in fact we might even be embarrassed to point out to the dirty liar that they never did what they said they'd do. So if a guy you're dating doesn't call when he says he's doing to, why should that be such a big deal? Because you should be dating a man who's at least as good as his word." — Greg Behrendt

[ Political Issues photo shoot.
Issue: Nuclear Weapons. ]

Top five things I miss about Laura. One; sense of humor. Very dry, but it can also be warm and forgiving. And she's got one of the best all time laughs in the history of all time laughs, she laughs with her entire body. Two; she's got character. Or at least she had character before the Ian nightmare. She's loyal and honest, and she doesn't even take it out on people when she's having a bad day. That's character. Three; I miss her smell, and the way she tastes. It's a mystery of human chemistry and I don't understand it, some people, as far as their senses are concerned, just feel like home. I really dig how she walks around. It's like she doesn't care how she looks or what she projects and it's not that she doesn't care it's just, she's not affected I guess, and that gives her grace. And five; she does this thing in bed when she can't get to sleep, she kinda half moans and then rubs her feet together an equal number of times... it just kills me. Believe me, I mean, I could do a top five things about her that drive me crazy but it's just your garden variety women you know, schizo stuff and that's the kind of thing that got me here. -HIGH FIDELITY

General opinions starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion love actually is all around.
- Love Actually

I used to be afraid of so many things, that I'd never grow up, that I'd be trapped in the same place for all eternity, that my dreams would forever be shy of my reach, it's true what they say, time plays tricks on you. One day your dreaming the next your dream has become you reality and now that the scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, I miss her. I do. Because there are things that I want to tell her, to relax, to lighten up, that it is all going to be okay. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually except you for who you are will become an increasingly rare occurrence Jen, Jack, Audrey, Andie, Pacey and Dawson, these people who contributed to who I am they are with me where ever I go. And as history gets rewritten in smalls way with each passing day my love for them only grows, because the truth is it was the best of times. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned, but all that has receded into fond memory now. How does it happen? Why are we so quick to forget the bad and romanticizes the good? Maybe it's because we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something. That we were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all. That time our lives that we will never forget. I can't swear that's exactly how it happened. But this is how it felt.
- Dawsons Creek

"Daisy: You're just jealous, Lisa... because I got better... because I was released... because I have a chance... at a life.
Lisa: They didn't release you 'cause you're better, Daisy, they just gave up. You call this a life, hmm? Taking Daddy's money, buying your dollies and your knick-knacks... and eatin' his fuckin' chicken, fattening up like a prize fuckin' heifer? You changed the scenery, but not the fucking situation - and the warden makes house calls. And everybody knows. Everybody knows. That he fucks you. What they don't know... is that you like it. Hmm? You like it. "
-Girl, Interrupted.

It was the central moment of Alaska’s life. When she cried and told me that she fucked everything up, I knew what she meant now. And when she said she failed everyone, I knew whom she meant. It was the everything and everyone of her life, and so I could not help but imagine it: I imagined a scrawny eighty-year-old with dirty fingers, looking down at her mother convulsing. So she sat down with her dead-or-maybe-not mother, who I imagine was not breathing by then but wasn’t yet cold either. And in the time between dying and death, a little Alaska sat with her mother in silence. And then through the silence and my drunkenness, I caught a glimpse of her as she might have been. She must have come to feel so powerless, I thought, that the one thing she might have done - pick up the phone and call an ambulance - never even occurred to her. There comes a time when we realise that our parents cannot save themselves or save us, that everyone who wades through time eventually gets dragged out to sea by the undertow - that is, in short, we are all going.
So she became impulsive, scared by her inaction into perpetual action. When the Eagle confronted her with expulsion, maybe she blurted out Marya’s name because it was the first that came to mind, because in that moment she didn’t want to get expelled and couldn’t think past that moment. She was scared, sure. But more importantly, maybe she’d been scared of being paralysed by fear again.
“We are all going,” McKinley said to his wife, and we sure are. There’s your labyrinth of suffering. We are all going. Find your way out of that maze.
- Looking For Alaska

Minister: Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to celebrate the wedding of Alexander Michael Karev and Isobel Katherine Stevens. This is a sacred right. An ancient right. As Isobel and Alex prepare to join their lives, it is important to understand that everyone present has played a part in shaping their lives. And, will continue to play a vital role in their continuing future. And thus, we are here not only to witness their vows to each other, but to bestow upon them our blessing. And, now the couple will read their vows.
Izzie: Oh, we didn't write anything.
Alex: No, wait. I have something I wanna say. Today's the day my life begins. All my life I've been just me. Just a smart mouth kid. Today I become a man. Today I become a husband. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself. Today I become accountable to you. To our future. To all the possibilities that a marriage has to offer. Together, no matter what happens, I'll be ready. For anything. For everything. To take on life, to take on love. To take on possibility and responsibility. Today Izzie Stevens, our life together begins. And I for one can't wait
- Grey's Anatomy

As doctors we can't undo our mistakes, and we rarely forgive ourselves for them. But, it's a hazard of the trade. But, as human beings we can always try to do better. To be better. To right a wrong. Even when it feels irreversible. Of course, I'm sorry doesn't always cut it. Maybe because we use it so many different ways. As a weapon. As an excuse. But, when we are really sorry, when we use it right. When we mean it. When our actions say what words never can.
When we get it right "I'm sorry" is perfect. When we get it right, "I'm sorry" is redemption.
- Grey's Anatomy

Richard: Ahem.
Meredith: Oh great! Is this another heart to heart?
Richard: I know you don't like me, and you have every right not to like me. I have abused my power, but now I'm here on your turf. What I need to say... What I need to say is I saw what your mother was doing. I saw how neglected you were, I saw her drive your father off. And, I spent a lot of time beating myself up about that. But, what does that do for you? Nothing. Nothing! I wasn't your advocate. I didn't fight for you. I never stood up for you. I left myself off the hook. I told myself I was young, and didn't know any better. But, I did know better. I wasn't much younger than you are now. I should have fought for you Meredith. Like you fought for that child today. I told myself that I wasn't your father, that it wasn't my responsibility, that I was right not to butt in. I let myself off the hook. You were helpless. You were a baby. A beautiful, smart, funny little girl, and no one stood up for you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. (Mer leans on Richard's shoulder.) I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
- Grey's Anatomy

Derek: You just have to give her some room. You two have history.
Richard: I apologized.
Derek: I know, and it's loaded.
Richard: Look, she keeps yelling at me that I'm not her father. Well, I am not. I fell in love with her mother, that's all I did.
Derek: Her mother never got over you. And she's not gonna...
Richard: Oh, that's not my fault. Look I was young, lots of people have affairs. They have affairs and they don't... Look what Ellis did after I left, that's on Ellis. And I'm trying to run a hospital here.
Derek: She's doing the best she can Richard.
Richard: Well, her best isn't good enough. If any other resident... If any other resident pulled the crap she did today. She is still here because of my history with you. That's it. That's the only reason.
Derek: You keep saying you're not her father, but you... ok... you know, since we're talking. You're the most professional guy I know. Most level headed. Except when it comes to Meredith Grey. You gave me hell. You know, you weren't gonna give me Chief because I was dating Meredith Grey. You told her about the ring, you sent her out to the woods to bring me back. That's not running a hospital. You paged her to your office to try and address us. You paged her again today for Thatcher. You have history with her. You keep saying you're not her father, but the way you act, you consider her family. For what it's worth.
- Grey's Anatomy

Remember when we were little, and we would accidentally bite a kid on the playground? Our teachers would go "Say you're sorry." And we would say it, but we wouldn't mean it. Because the stupid kid we bit, totally deserved it. But, as we get older, making amends isn't so simple. After the playground days are over, you can't just say it. You have to mean it. Of course, when you become a doctor, sorry is not a happy word. It either means you're dieing and I can't help. Or, it means this is really gonna hurt
- Grey's Anatomy

The prisons are empty, The homeless have houses
Nobody’s hungry, Nobody’s poor
Nobody’s judged by their faith or their color
Nobody’s wrong in this world without war
We buried our swords, We don’t fight anymore...
Nobody’s lonely, used, or neglected
Children are cherished from the day that they’re born
Even a stranger’s never a stranger
No bars on the windows, No locks on our doors
Cuz we open our doors, Not afraid anymore
You can’t imagine all the mountains we’d move if we loved
If we loved a little harder
Yea, there’s no telling all the walls we’d break through
If we loved, If we loved a little harder
++Chuck Wicks

he says he looks in the mirror and he can't tell anymore who he really is and who they believe him to be and he says he walks a thin line between what is and what could be and he's getting closer to something he can't understand. ‘cause there's a crack in his plastic crown and his throne of ice is melting. he climbed his ladder there was nothing there, now it's a long way down. cause on and on and on he goes dancing on the grave of what he thought was still alive. and on and on and on he goes dancing in mansions made of twigs and castles made of sand.

When I was a kid, I would get these headaches and I went to the doctor and they said that I needed glasses. I didn’t understand that, it didn’t make sense to me because I could see fine. And then I get the glasses and I put them on and I’m in the car on the way home and suddenly I yell. The green big blobs I’ve been staring at my whole life… They weren’t green big blobs, they were leaves on trees. I could see the leaves, and I didn’t even know that I was missing the leaves, I didn’t even know that leaves existed and then… leaves! You are the glasses.
- Grey's Anatomy

I am Godzilla, you are Japan.

 Today has been a shitty day.
I didn't get the waitressing job.
And Nathan found out that he might have to go to a job in NC...for 3 years.
If he has to go, I don't know what I'd do.
The weird thing is is that he doesn't even seem to be phased by it..
I'm just like emotionless right now.

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ANTM Cycle 11: Elina.

01.
"If you really want to know something about me, you should know this: I like my music loud. I mean loud. I'm not talking the kind of loud where you parents knock on your bedroom door and ask you to turn it down. Please. That's amateur hour. When I say loud, I mean you-can't-hear-your-parents-knocking-and-the-neighbors-are-putting-a-for-sale-sign-on-their-house-and-moving-to-another-block-because-they-can't-handle-the-constant-noise-anymore loud. You have to turn it up so that your chest shakes and the drums get in between your ribs like a heartbeat and the bass goes up your spine and frizzles your brain and all you can do is dance or spin in a circle or just scream along because you know that however this music makes you feel, it's exactly right."

02.
"She fell in, fell out, & it doesn't matter anymore, because the person you had to catch you at the bottom is no longer there, he is off doing other stuff, & their promise becomes a kind of lie, & lying is the worst, isn't it? But how he acts, & what he says, & what he does, & who he is, they don't line up anymore, & the lie is in that not lining up, the lie is in not being what she needs but pretending that he is. No one says a word, & she sees it in every minute they have together."
-scrambled eggs at midnight

[ Political Issues photo shoot.
Issue: Foreign Policy ]

03.
You know your problem, Quentin? You keep expecting people not to be themselves. I mean, I could hate you for being massively unpunctual and for never being interested in anything other than Margo Roth Spiegelman, and for, like, never asking me about how it's going with my girlfriend - but I don't give a shit, man, because you're you. My parents have a shit ton of black Santas, but that's okay. They're them. I'm too obsessed with a reference website to answer my phone sometimes when my friends call, or my girlfriend. That's okay, too. That's me. You like me anyway. And I like you. You're funny, and you're smart, and you may show up late, but you always show up eventually. — John Green (Paper Towns)

04.
Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah, I betcha don't, you're probably too sensible for that. Or have you ever, like, seen somebody? And you knew that, if only that person really knew you, they would, well, they would of course dump the perfect model that they were with, and realize that YOU were the one that they wanted to, just, grow old with. Have you ever fallen in love with someone you haven't even talked to? Have you ever been so alone you spend the night confusing a man in a coma? -while you were sleeping

05.
"One morning you'll wake up and you'll think, 'how did i get here?' you'll inhale a long drag of smoke through your lungs, and before you can exhale, pictures from your life pop into your head. Behind each picture lies a story. the first picture you see will make you smile. The image will remind you of a time when you were happy. Actually happy. the kind of happy that makes you jumble your words, the kind of happy that makes your insides twist, the kind of happy that makes you use the word 'forever.' the next image that pops up shows you your lowest low. the kind of low that told you to slit your wrists, the kind of low that makes you pull your hair and scream, the kind of low that never wants to know how long forever is. Then you'll look around you and you won’t know whether to laugh or to cry. And you'll think 'I’ve loved and I’ve hated.' and you'll realize that you wouldn’t have to hate if you never knew love."

06.
"Best day of my life was today. And the story is that I woke up next to a very pretty Hungarian girl and it was cold but not too cold and I had a cup of lukewarm instant coffee and ate Cheerios without milk and then we walked through the woods with Alaska and Takumi. We skipped stones across the creek, which sounds dumb but it wasn't. I don't know. Like the way the sun is right now, with the long shadows and that kind of bright, soft light you get when the sun isn't quite setting? That's the light that makes everything better, everything prettier, and today, everything just seemed to be in that light. I mean, I didn't do anything. But just sitting here, even if I'm just watching the Colonel whittle, or whatever. Whatever. Great day, today. Best day of my life." -looking for alaska

[ Natural Disasters photo shoot.
Disaster: Earthquake. ]

07.
"If you really love me, then let's make a vow. Right here... together... right now. Ok ? - Ok... - All right, repeat after me... I'm gonna be free. - I'm gonna be free. - And I'm gonna be brave... - I'm gonna be brave. - Good... I'm gonna live each day as if it were my last. - Oh that's good... - You like that ? - Yeah... - Say it. - I'm gonna live each day as it were my last... - Fantastically... - Fantastically. - Courageously... - Courageously. - With grace... - With grace. - And in the dark of the night ,and it does get dark, when I call a name... - When I call a name... - It' ll be your name... What's your name? Nevermind... let's go... say it. - Let's go... - Everywhere... - Everywhere... - Even though... - Even though... - We're scared... - We're scared... - Cause it's life... - It's life... - and it's happening, it's really really happening... RIGHT NOW..." -me and you and everyone we know

[ Fiercee Awards Faux Pas photo shoot.
Faux Pas: Excessive cryer. ]

08.
"Do you guys ever feel like you're locked inside a car that's moving really fast? Like a fucking red Monte Carlo with a black racing stripe cutting through the middle of it, and there's some superintense Fantomas shit jolting from the car speakers, like Mike Patton and Buzz Osbourne just completely losing it, but no steering wheel.The car doesn't have one. And the car is so out of control, right? It's swerving all over the road, and you're crying, pounding your fists against the window trying to jump out of it, trying to bail from it, and then all of these people start popping up on the road, like your parents and your sister and your friends, and the car s playing human dodgeball with them. It's trying not to run anyone over, but it's not slowing down, either, and then some junkie babe pops up in the middle of the road and the car destroys her, leaving her mangled body in its burnt rubber path, and then it keeps on going and going even though it can't maintain anything close to the same speed."
-exit here

09.
I came upon a doctor who appeared in quite poor health.
I said "{I am terribly sorry but} there is nothing I can do for you
{that} you can't do for yourself."
He said "Oh yes you can. Just hold my hand. I think that would help."
So I sat with him a while and then I asked him how he felt.
He said, "I think I'm cured. No, in fact, I'm sure.
Thank you Stranger, for your therapeutic smile."
So that is how I learned the lesson that everyone is alone.
And your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow.
But when crying don't help and you can't compose yourself.
It is best to compose a poem, an honest verse of longing or simple song of hope.
That is why I'm singing...
Baby don't worry cause now I got your back. And every time you feel like crying,
I'm gonna try and make you laugh. And if I can't, if it just hurts too bad,
then we will wait for it to pass and I will keep you company
through those days so long and black.
And we'll keep working on the problem we know we'll never solve
Of Love's uneven remainders, our lives are fractions of a whole.
But if the world could remain within a frame like a painting on a wall.
Then I think we would see the beauty.
Then we would stand staring in awe at our still lives posed like a bowl of oranges,
like a story told by the fault lines and the soil.
-bright eyes

10.
“and as i stood there watching i realized something i’d forgotten a long time ago. Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. Maybe you will find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding. But theres also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself is the same person who’s been standing beside you all along.” -bride wars

11.
"among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. you're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know. many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spirtually as you are right now. happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. you'll learn from them - if you want to. just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. it's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. and it isn't education. it's history. it's poetry." -the catcher in the rye

12.
we flipped our finger to the king of england
stole our country from the indians
with god on our side and guns in our hands
we took it for our own
a nation dedicated to liberty
justice and equality
does it look that way to you
it doesn't look that way to me
sickest joke i know
listen up man, i'll tell you who i am
just another stupid american
you don't wanna listen
you don't wanna understand
so finish up your drink and go home
i come from the land of ben franklin
twain and poe and walt whitman
otis redding, ellington
the country that i love
but it's a land of the slaves and the ku klux klan
haymarket riot and the great depression
joe mccarthy vietnam
sickest joke i know

i'm proud and ashamed
every fourth of july
you've got to know the truth
before you say that you've got pride

now the cops got tanks but the kids got guns
shrinks pushin' pills on everyone
cancer from the ocean
cancer from the sun
straight to hell we go
-the descendants

13.
Andrew Largeman: You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.
Sam: I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew Largeman: You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.
-garden state

14.
You say that I treat you like a book on a shelf
I don't take you out that often 'cause I know that I completed you and that's why you are here
That's the reason you stay here
How awful that must feel
You said you could be my dream I could have you every night
And if by morning, I'd forgotten you, well no big deal, that'd be alright
'Cause you're the reoccurring kind
You are the reoccurring kind
You never really leave my mind
Are you the love of my lifetime?
Cause there have been times I've had my doubts
We were just kids when I first kissed you in the attic of my parents house, and I wish we were there now
It took so long to figure out
What this book has been about
Now I write when I'm away, letters that you'll never read
You said go explore those other women, the geography of their bodies, but there's just one map you'll need
You're a boomerang you'll see
You will return to me  -bright eyes

15.
"And all the books you've read have been read by other people. And all the songs you've loved have been heard by other people. And that girl that's pretty to you is pretty to other people. And you know that if you looked at these facts when you were happy, you would feel great because you are describing "unity." It's like when you are excited about a girl and you see a couple holding hands, and you feel so happy for them. And other times you see the same couple, and they make you so mad. And all you want is to always feel happy for them because you know that if you do, then it means you’re happy, too." -perks of being a wallflower

Get with it or get lost.

God, my comments suck :/ :(
On the plus side, I applied for a waitressing job at this fancy resturant. God I hope I get it.
And Nathan and I are doing amazing. I'm so happy :)

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ANTM Cycle 11: Clark.

"When you've hit breaking point sometimes you need to be held, and sometimes you need to talk. The odd thing is we tend to talk to the most unlikely people. We talk to strangers in the street, a kind word or a reassuring hand on our arm causes us to open up, causes all the pain to come spilling out. We talk to strangers, or to people who are not in our inner circle because we don't care and they won't judge. We don't think about the consequences of talking to those we don't know well. We don't worry that they are seeing us at our most vulnerable, that they may take advantage of that. No. Why would we?”
-jane green

"'Take any emotion -- love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions -- if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them -- you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, 'all right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.''" -tuesdays with morrie

[ Political Issues photo shoot.
Issue: Bureaucracy ]

"'Every time someone asks me that question, I say, 'I'm fine, thank you,' but to be honest, I'm not. Do people really want to know how you feel when they ask how are you? Or are they just trying to be polite?' Holly smiled. "The next time the woman across the road from my house says to me, 'how are you?' I'm going to say to her, 'well, actually, I'm not very well at all, thank you. I'm feeling a bit depressed and lonely. Pissed off at the world. Envious of you and your perfect little family but not particularly envious of your husband for having to live with you.' and then I'll tell her about how I started a new job and met lots of new people and how I'm trying hard to pick myself up but that I'm now at a loss about what else to do. Then I'll tell her how it pisses me off when everyone says time is a healer when at the same time they also say absence makes the heart grow fonder, which really confuses me because that means that the longer he's gone the more I want him. I'll tell her that nothing is healing at all and that every morning I wake up in my empty bed it feels like salt is being rubbed into those unhealing wounds.' Holly took a deep breath. 'and then I'll tell her about how much I miss my husband and about how worthless my life seems without him. How uninterested I am in getting on with things without him, and I'll explain how I feel like I'm just waiting for my world to end so that I can join him. She'll probably just say, 'oh that's good,' like she always does, kiss her husband good-bye, hop into her car, and drop her kids at school, go to work, make the dinner and eat the dinner, and go to bed with her husband and she'll have it all done while I'm still trying to decide what color shirt to wear to work. What do you think?'"
-ps, i love you

"I imagined the lies the valedictorian was telling them right now. About the exciting future that lies ahead. I wish she'd tell them the truth: Half of you have gone as far in life as you're ever going to. Look around. It's all downhill from here. The rest of us will go a bit further, a steady job, a trip to Hawaii, or a move to Pheonix, Arizona, but out of fifteen hundred how many will do anything truly worthwhile, write a play, paint a painting that will hang in a gallery, find a cure for herpes? Two of us, maybe three? And how many will find true love? About the same. And enlightment? Maybe one. The rest of us will make compromises, find excuses, someone or something to blame, and hang that over our hearts like a pendant on a chain."
-white oleander

"There is such a place as fairyland -- but only children can find the way to it. And they do not know it is fairyland until they have grown so old that they forget the way. One bitter day, when they seek it and cannot find it, they realize what they have lost; and that is the tragedy of life. On that day, the gates of Eden are shut behind them and the age of gold is over. Henceforth, they must dwell in the common light of common day. Only a few, who remain children at heart, can ever find that fair, lost path again; and blessed are they above mortals. They, and only they, can bring us tidings from that dear country where we once sojourned and from which we must evermore be exiles. The world calls them its singers and poets and artists and story-tellers; but they are just people who have never forgotten the way to fairyland." -Lucy Maud Montgomery

"Here's my theory on men and women. When a man meets a woman he decides withing around thirty seconds whether or not he finds her attractive. If he doesn't, they become friends. If he does, they might become friends, but the potential for them to become lovers never quite goes away. When a woman meets a man she decides within around thirty seconds whether or not she finds him attractive. Even if she doesn't, they become friends, but at any given point in their relationship she could fall in love with him. She could fall in love with him because he's kind, sensitive, and he makes her laugh. Because she grows up and realizes the sexual attraction is not the be-all and end-all to life. Because she finally realizes that she deserves a nice guy. That nice guys aren't all boring. That sometimes they do wonders for your ego, that sometimes they're just what you need." -straight talking

[ Natural Disasters photo shoot.
Disaster: Blackout ]

"Perhaps this is what we need. A dream, a hope for the future, something to aspire to, and perhaps we need to keep replacing this dream with something a little bigger because when we manage to fulfill the dream, we usually find that it's not what we wanted in the first place. Or if it is, it doesn't feel the way we always thought it should. Sometimes, if you're very mixed up, very stupid, or very thoughtless, you screw up the dream just as you get it. You tell youself you don't deserve it, and you have to start all over again." -straight talking

I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn’t deserve it. Because they are all you have. Because any attention is better than no attention. For exactly the same reason, it is sometimes satisfying to cut yourself and bleed. On those gray days where eight in the morning looks no different from noon and nothing has happened and nothing is going to happen and you are washing a glass in the sink and it breaks-accidentally-and punctures your skin. And then there is this shocking red, the brightest thing in the day, so vibrant it buzzes, this blood of yours. That is okay sometimes because at least you know you’re alive.
- Running with Scissors.

"I know all the magazines tell you to do everything for yourself, but that's not how I think it really works. I think you want to be beautiful in someone's eyes, you want to be seen. Like if I shot off fireworks and no one was there to watch them, and I closed my eyes. They become beautiful in being seen, and maybe you're not supposed to think of people that way, but I do. You don't have to be beautiful to be seen, you just have to be seen as beautiful, by someone, by one person." -scrambled eggs at midnight

"Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way." -lemony snicket

"If you believe something, passionately, people will follow you. People hardly care what you believe, as long as you believe something. If you are passionate about something, people will follow you because they think you know something they don't, some clue to the meaning of the universe. Passion is tricky though, because it can point to nothing as easily as it points to something...what people believe is important. What people believe is more important than how they look, what their skills are, or their degree of passion. Passion about nothing is like pouring gasoline in a car without wheels. It isn't going to lead anybody anywhere."
-blue like jazz

"Relationships don't work they way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won't they? And then they finally do, and they're happy forever. Gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y'know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, because I do believe in it. Bottom line: it's couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will." -scrubs

"Some people have a hard time explaining rock 'n' roll. I don't think anyone can really explain rock 'n' roll. Maybe Pete Townshend, but that's okay. Rock 'n' roll is a lifestyle and a way of thinking... and it's not about money and popularity. Although, some money would be nice. But it's a voice that says, "Here I am... and fuck you if you can't understand me." And one of these people is gonna save the world. And that means that rock 'n' roll can save the world... all of us together. And the chicks are great. But what it all comes down to is that thing. The indefinable thing when people catch something in your music." -almost famous

"I mean, I don’t know how the world broke. And I don’t know if there’s a God who can help us fix it. But the fact that the world is broken - I absolutely believe that. Just look around us. Every minute - every single second - there are a million things you could be thinking about. A million things you could be worrying about. Our world - don’t you just feel we’re becoming more fragmented? I used to think that when I got older, the world would make so much more sense. But you know what? The older I get, the more confusing it is to me. The more complicated it is. Harder. You’d think we’d be getting better at it. But there’s just more and more chaos. The pieces - they’re everywhere. And nobody knows what to do about it. I find myself grasping, Nick. You know that feeling? That feeling when you just want the right thing to fall into the right place, not only because it’s right, but because it would mean that such a thing is still possible? I want to believe that." -nick and norahs infinite playlist

"It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing, and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it, right? And this bag was, like, dancing, with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. That's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things and, this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know that there was no reason to be afraid, ever. It's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember, and I need to remember. Sometimes I there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in."
-american beauty