What's all this talk about love?

 I don't think I told you guys, but I'll be gone for a week starting Saturday.
So tomorrow will probably be my last post til I come back.
I'm off to camp :)
I'm excited.
But I'm gonna miss my baby :(

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ANTM Cycle 4: Sarah.
Model: Rebecca Romijn

01.
He who angers you conquers you.
- Elizabeth Kenny

02.
Everybody screws up. It’s what you do with the screw ups, it’s how you handle the experience. That’s what you should judge yourself by.
--Gilmore Girls

03.
Nothing feels right when I'm not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Taking them off cause I feel a fool
Trying to dress up when I'm missing you
Ima step out of this lingerie curl up in
a ball with something Hanes in bed I lay
with nothing but your T-shirt on
++T-Shirt by Shontelle

04
.I like my body when
it's with your body.
++e.e. cummings

05.
But sometimes, we just have to be happy
with what people can offer us.
Even if it's not what we want,
at least it's something. You know?
-Sarah Dessen

06.
it's my last night of freedom, which is what some might see it,
but for me, it's the last night before the greatest adventure of my life
-Mamma Mia

07.
I miss him and I love him, and I don't speak with him anymore. It's a hurtful and painful subject.
-Mary-Kate Olsen

08.
I can resist everything except temptation.
-Oscar Wilde

09.
I should've felt happier at that moment.
i had won. but the cost was high & the
victory hollow. i had taken a good friend
from someone i loved. & nothing had
felt right about that
-Little Black Book

Do not commit the error, common among the young, of assuming that if you cannot save the whole of mankind, you have failed.

11.
Bitches don't just happen,
they're made by parents
more wicked then their offspring.
-Gossip Girl

12.
Not every girl wants to be saved.
( Prince Charming )

13.
Sometimes nothing seems worth saving.
( Prozac Nation )

14.
The faster you rise, the harder you fall.
- Gossip Girl

15.
"I talk to a guy for two minutes, and I'm chasing after him thinking he's somethings special."
"Maybe you want someone special for once, maybe you were tired of the game."
-The Sweetest Thing.

It's the good advice that I just didn't take.

So Nathan and I almost broke up today.
We're just getting so sick of fighting because of other people.
So we decided that we're done with that bullshit.
It's about him and I, not us and everybody else.
We get stronger everyday.
And I'm not gonna screw this up.
<3

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ANTM Cycle 4: Rebecca.
Model: Niki Taylor.

"I have always found the times when another person recognizes you to be strangely
sad; I suspect the pathos of these moments is their rareness, the way the contrast with
the most daily encounters. That reminder that it can be different. That you need not
go through your life unknown but that you probably will - that is the part that's almost
unbearable."
- Prep - Curtis Sittenfield

"and all of it came down to one thing, love, or the lack of it. the chances we take, knowing no better, to fall or to stand back and hold ourselves in, protecting our hearts with the tightest of grips."
-This Lullaby - Sarah Dessen

"well, i mean, sometimes though when people are depressed they want to sleep all the time."
"is it so they'll dream?"

[ Signs of the Zodiac photo shoot.
Sign: Virgo ]

^^ That's my sign :D My bday is next monthh.

I want to be around people
that inspire me and push me.
-Neve Campbell

[ Ethnicity Switching photo shoot.
New ethnicity: Italian ]

^^ hey, that's me too :D

To be truly happy, a person must live absolutely in the present, no thought of what's gone before and no thought of what lies ahead. But a life with meaning, a [person] is condemned to wallow in the past, and obsess about the future.
-Heroes

It's always scary for people to fall in love, but it's a healthy fear. I think that nothing is healthier. People are fragile. People can be hurt. Sometimes it's good to take steps toward letting yourself into something, but it's not healthy to just throw your emotions around and be avaible to everyone- because people can walk all over you.
- Alexis Bledel

You have so much power to bring
awareness, prevention, and change.
- Ashley Judd

In the space between yes and no, there's a lifetime.
It's the difference between the path you walk
and the one you leave behind.
It's the gap between who you thought you could be,
And who you really are.
It's the legroom for the lies you tell yourself in the future.
+ Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult

with him, life was routine.
without him, life was miserable.
--to kill a mockingbird

I believe in the power of love, and I believe there is always hope.
( Naomi Judd )

She had to protect herself from herself, from that little girl inside still looking for a happy ending.
( Pink by Marilyn Griffith )

I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to me is something else: Hard work - and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.
-Lucille Ball

I finally figured it all out. It's too late for me,
but at least I can pass this along. Don't talk.
Not at all. From the day you walk into high school to the day you leave. Because if you do,
one way or another, you'll get some person
angry with you. There is no such thing as an
innocent comment. You might want to avoid
hand gestures, too. And anything else that might carry meaning. Facial expressions,
Deep breathes. Loud thoughts.
-David Lubar

It's discouraging to think how many people
are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.
-Noël Coward

"There are different kinds of freedom -- there's a lot of misunderstanding ... The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your senses for an act. You give up your ability to feel and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first" -jim morrison

Heal the world we live in.

  Watched Michael Jackson's memorial alll day today.
It was so sad.
I cried thru almost the whole thing.
I'm still in disbelief that he's really gone.
But he still lives on.
R.I.P. Long Live the King. <3

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ANTM Cycle 4: Noelle.
Model: Niki Taylor

01.
Meredith: Oh, Ok. So you're just quitting?
Derek: You should understand better than anybody else. You wrote the book on quitting. Running, hiding, you've written a lot of books Meredith.
Meredith: That may be true. But I'm here now.
Derek: Oh, hmm, you're here now? Haha. You've wanted me out since the day I moved in.
Meredith: That is not true.
Derek: Because you're incapable of anything that resembles commitment. You lied to me, you said you were healthy. That you were healed. There's no fixing you, you're a lemon.
 - Grey's Anatomy

02.
We must accept infinite disappointment,
but we must never lose infinite hope.
-Martin Luther King, Jr

03.
you are a man who has everything...yet nothing.
-iron man

[ Signs of the Zodiac photo shoot.
Sign: Leo ]

04.
Its easy to think the world revolves around you, but all you have to do is stare up at the sky to realize it isn't that way at all. - my sister's keeper

[ Ethnicity Switching photo shoot.
New ethnicity: Traditional African ]

05.
you are replaceable, and it bothers you because i'm not. you won't find another me.  you can try, but those other girls won't compare. you need me, but i don't need you.  and i don't think i ever really did.

06.
One bad thing about making a deal with the devil is, he always comes to collect.

^^ I'm COMPLETELY pro-life, but I love this picture.

07.
"to be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved."
-George MacDonald-

08.
destiny is something we've invented
because we can't stand the fact that
everything that happens is accidental.
++Sleepless in Seattle

09.
"when i see someone who just follows
their dream and succeeds, and just does
basically what they want to do and doesn't
have to answer to anyone, obviously
not harming anyone, that's great."
-Johnny Depp-

10.
"how long has it been since someone
touched part of you other than your body?"
-Laurel Hoodwrit-

11.
Sooner or later you must accept what happened in your life, as your life.
-Das Versprechen (The Promise)

12.
Sometimes I wonder about my life.
I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer.
-You've Got Mail

13.
don't even talk about the consequence because right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me. and i don't give a damn what they say, what they think. because you're the only one who's on my mind, i'll never ever let you leave me.
-the veronicas

14.
never limit yourself because you feel like you're not strong or capable enough.
-scarlett johansson

15.
"Later on, when I tried to imagine how I might have ruined things, that would occur
to me - that I so rarely resisted, that I hadn't made it hard enough for him. Maybe he
felt disappointed. Maybe it was like gathering your strength and hurling your body
against a door you believe to be locked, and then the door opens easily - it wasn't
locked at all - and you're standing looking in to the room, trying to remember what
you wanted."
- Prep - Curtis Sittenfield

Standing in the light of your halo, I've got my angel now.

My fourth of July was terrible.
Every year, shit goes wrong.
Nathan and I got into a HUGE fight, that we didn't even resolve til this morning.
But we're fine now. We tend to work things out easily and quickly.
Mostly cause he's amazing.

Survey at the end of this post! :)

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ANTM Cycle 4 WINNER!: Naima (she's my favorite top model contestant & winner EVER <3)

Derek: Get out.
Richard: No.
Derek: GET OUT! RICHARD! GET OUT!
Richard: Look, I've destroyed lives before. Several in fact, and yours is not one of them. Now, I sent the woman you love out here to help you. I sent the woman who loves you, out here, to bring you back to your life. If you ruin it with her, that's on you. I don't accept it. You're scared, you're drunk. You don't know which way is up. You threw a punch at your best friend, and you threw a ring at Meredith, and now you wanna throw me out. I'm not accepting it. Because, I'm older than you, and I've been where you are. You've been drunk for a few days, I was drunk for years. And I know you're gonna need at least one friend when you decide to come out of that hole you're digging. I hope you come out of it soon, and I'll be here when you do.
Derek: I don't think I can get her back.
Richard: Did you call her?
Derek: What am I gonna say?
Richard: I had an affair for years. When Adele found out, somehow she took me back. You can make your way back from anything.
- Grey's Anatomy

You know how when you're listening to music playing from another room? And you're singing along because it's a tune that you really love? When a door closes or a train passes so you can't hear the music anymore, but you sing along anyway... then, no matter how much time passes, when you hear the music again you're still in exact same time with it. That's what love's like. ( Music From Another Room )

And then one day I just woke up and said to myself, I can spend the rest of my life mourning his loss or I can get on with my life. Which is what I did.
( My Legendary Girlfriend by Mike Gayle )

No woman has ever told the whole truth of her life.
( My Life by Isadora Duncan )

[ Signs of the Zodiac photo shoot.
Sign: Capricorn ]

I did an undefendable thing, I created my own prison and I have to exist in it. MAYbe I had a wish or whatever, to punish you. An unconscious wish, you've heard of them, right?
( My So-Called Life )

[ Ethnicity Switching photo shoot.
New  ethnicity: Icelandic (I know I put that for Michelle's in my last post, but Michelle's is Eskimo, I changed it) ]

That was the day I stopped believing in love.
That kind of love. The love in books & films.
The love that tells us to abandon our lives &
plans, all for one brief touch of Venus. So often
we fail at that kind of love. The world just
seems to fragile of a place for it. Perhaps,
it's just that we are too fragile.
( Far From Heaven )

Do you ever feel like there's something missing? Like there's something that you've been waiting for all your life and you wonder if you'll ever have it? I think love should be so beautiful and powerful... you know? I want to be swept away by love.
( Man In The Moon )

It's too much. I'm numb and I'm tired. Too much has happened today. I feel as if I'd been out in a pounding rain for 48 hours without an umbrella or a coat. I'm soaked to the skin in emotion.
( The Martian Chronicles )

[ 7 Deadly Sins photo shoot.
Sin: Envy ]

He's the best man I ever met in my life, and I'm not good enough for him. I say that knowing I'm good enough for damn near anybody, but he's different. Turns out under that affable exterior that man's even more stubborn than I am, and I haven't figured out what to do about that quite yet.
( Midnight Bayou by Nora Roberts )

[ South African Animal photo shoot.
Animal: Cheetah ]

"So you're always honest," I said.
"Aren't you?"
"No," I told him. "I'm not."
"Well, that's good to know, I guess."
"I'm not saying I'm a liar," I told him. He raised his eyebrows. "That's not how I meant it, anyways."
"How'd you mean it, then?"
"I just...I don't always say what I feel."
"Why not?"
"Because the truth sometimes hurts," I said.
"Yeah," he said. "So do lies, though."
 Sarah Dessen (Just Listen)

"i'm north and south, and i'll probably never have it all figured out. but what i know is i wasn't meant to walk this world without you. and i promise i'll try, yeah, i'm gonna try to give you every little part of me, every single detail you missed with your eyes. then maybe, yeah maybe, maybe, one day we'll meet again and you'll need me,  you'll see me completely, and maybe you'll love me then."

Depression is not sobbing and crying and giving vent, it is plain and simple reduction of feeling. Reduction, see? Of all feeling. People who keep stiff upper lips find that it's damn hard to smile.
( Ordinary People )

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope
that if you just show up and try to do the right
thing, the dawn will come. You wait and
watch and work: You don't give up.
  + + Anne Lamott

Things do not happen, things are made to happen.
--John F. Kennedy

and you got your share of secrets, and I'm tired of being last to know. and now you're asking me to listen, cause it's worked each time before. but you don't have to call anymore. i won't pick up the phone.
This is the last straw, don't want to hurt anymore. and you can tell me that you're sorry, but I don't believe you baby, not like i did before.                -taylor swift

Soking Survey. (I don't smoke anymore but I did so.)

What is your favourite method of smoking? (bong, joint, bowl, pipe, etc)
I LOVED smoking outta bongs <3

Have you ever made your own smoking device?
I did on a few occasions.

Have you ever smoked out of a gravity bong?
Nope. Never had the opportunity.

Which smoking device do you feel gives you the best high?
Bongs, for sure.

How much weed do you smoke in one sitting?
As much as we had.

Do you know how to roll a joint?
Nope. Never need to.

How many people do you like to smoke with, if any?
Doesn't matter to me. A smaller amount was always better tho.

Do you smoke by yourself, ever?
I never did. I always smoked with Chris and the boys at David's.

Describe the weirdest high you've ever had.
Katie (my best friend) and I were at David's parents house, smoking with Chris, Skala and Kyle and we were using the Green Machine (bong) and we were smoking soooo much and Kyle was like climbing the side of the house like a fucking gremlin and it was the funniest thing in the entire world. I couldn't even breathe from laughing so much and my ribs hurt so bad lol.

Describe the best high you've ever had.
Read the previous response.

What type of weed do you like the best?
Pretty looking pretty smelling, shit that gets you high after one hit.

Do you get the munchies when you're high?
Not really.

If so, what do you enjoy eating?
Skala nd I got high together at David's once by ourselves at like 6am and had these french bread pizza things. They were so good.

Do you get cottonmouth?
Yeah, I did most of the time.

Have you ever driven while you were high?
Yeah. REALLY bad idea cause I have an anxiety problem as it is, so I was paranoid as fuck.

Who got you started on smoking pot?
Chris and Greg shotgunned me one night that Chris and I were staying the night at Greg's.

What made you want to smoke?
I'll try anything once. Twice if I like it. Three times if I can't get enough.

Do you ever have to be in a certain mood to smoke?
When I'm super stressed out or my anxiety has been at an all time high for days on end.

Do you enjoy watching movies or television while you're high?
Idc.

Do you ever go to school or work high?
Never did. I didn't really smoke that often.

Do you ever feel the urge to clean while you're stoned?
I have before.

What's the most money you've ever spent on weed?
None. My boys always had my back.

Have you ever had weed laced with anything?
Not that I was aware of.

If so, what?
--

When you get stoned, do your eyes get red/bloodshot?
Nah, they didn't that often.

Do you always feel really burnt out the next day?
Nah. I would sleep it off fine.

Do your parents know that you smoke?
I don't smoke anymore. But no, they never knew.

Do they care?
She would flip shit.

Did they smoke when they were your age?
Full outttt groupie stoners lol.

Maybe they still smoke?
She can't.

About how many dealers do you know?
Enough to get some if I need/want it.

Have you ever had homegrown stuff?
Yeah.

Do you (or have you ever) grow your own weed?
Nope.

Would you, or have you ever, smoke weed out of an apple?
Never have. I heard it's good though.

Do you get really horny while you're stoned?
I'm horny without smoking haha. I'm like a nymph, but that's an entirely different survey. :P

Where do you get your smoking devices?
I would borrow.

Where do you get your rolling paper?
Gas station.

Do you bring your own weed, or do you just smoke everyone elses?
I would smoke everyone elses lol But they didn't mind so.

What is your opinion on smoking everyone elses weed at a party?
If they offer it then its alright. But if not..don't be a bitch.

Have you ever tried blueberry?
Never.

Describe the craziest thing you've ever done high.
Almost lost my virginity haha.

Do you celebrate 420?
I did last year when I still smoked.

Or is basically everyday 420 for you?
I never needed a special day to smoke.

Do you only smoke with people you know, or do you smoke with anyone?
I would only smoke with friends.

Have you ever been caught by the police?
No luckily.

Have you ever been caught by your parents?
No.

Have you ever been searched?
No.

Is there a special place you like to smoke at?
Inside haha.

What kind of music do you enjoy listening to while you smoke?
Whatever man.

Do you geek out a lot?
Nah.

Have you ever, or do you, smoke at a concert?
If I still smoked I would fo sho.

If you are in a band, would you ever go on stage while stoned?
I'm not.

Do you think your performance would be better or worse?
--.

Do you ever smoke in your bedroom?
I almost did a couple times in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep, but nah.

Have you ever been drug tested?
No.

Have you ever made hash brownies?
Nah.

Did you like them?
--

Was the high any different than a high that you get when you smoke?
--

Do you LOVE weed?
It's not as bad as everyone thinks. But it gets old after a while. I do love it though when I'm in the mood for it.

The fate of the universe will be decided as it should be: in Mortal Kombat.

 I made 21 dollars in tips today :)
I only work on Fridays, but its 21 more dollars I didn't have.
I really like the job too.
I'm still gonna look for a full time job tho.
Nate and I's friend Nicki is gonna talk her boss into letting me work at her restaurant.
I hope it works.

Nate and I got into a huge fight tonight.
But everythings fine now.
I kind of like when we fight (after it's over I mean)
It helps bring us back down to reality that everything's not gonna be perfect all the time and love is about being with someone who pushes your buttons, fights with you, and makes you face your shit but has your back no matter what.
I love him so much.

And in greaterr news, I signed up to attempt to get Michael Jackson funeral tickets.
<3

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ANTM Cycle 4: Michelle.
Model: Miranda Kerr & Molly Sims (2)

01.
You have to believe in yourself, because I believe in you and I don't want to be wrong.
( Life Without Dick )

02.
I like guys a lot, but I'm not going to waste my time with some guy that doesn't see things the way I do... I mean do you really need this guy?
( The Object Of My Affection )

03.
What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died? That she was beautiful and brilliant? That she loved Mozart and Bach, the Beatles and me?
( Love Story )

[ Signs of the Zodiac photo shoot.
Sign: Aquarius ]

04.
Fitting in with the outside world, respectability, suitability, conformity, were never high on my priority list; neither was normalcy. I admit: I cultivated arrogance. The world would be our school; I wanted to learn it and teach it to you.
( Loverboy )

[ Ethnicity Switching photo shoot.
New ethnicity: Eskimo ]

05.
The only thing that scares me more than space
aliens, is the idea that there arent any space
alien. We cant be the best that creation has
to offer. I pray were not all there is. If so,
were in big trouble.
+Ellen Degeneres.

06.
They told her, 'You don't have to sell yourself
like that.' And the only thing she could reply
was, 'Im not that smart. I am that pretty.'

07.
We're just the boys and girls that think they always know. With
answers for the world, the ambiguity shows.

[ 7 Deadly Sins photo shoot.
Sin: Pride ]

08.
“Diversity without unity makes about as much sense as dishing up flour, sugar, water, eggs, shortening and baking powder on a plate and calling it a cake.”
---C. William Pollard

[ South African Animal photo shoot.
Animal: Zebra ]

09.
When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties, and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.
 — Patanjali

10.
I am the truth that you hate.

11.
People want you to be a crazy, out-of-control teen brat. They want you miserable,
just like them. They don't want heroes; what they want is to see you fall

12.
Fuck your opinion, I don't take it to heart. Your
tongue might be sharp, but it won't leave a mark.

13.
The best years of your life are the ones in which
you decide your problems are your own. You don't blame
them on your mother, the ecology, or the President. You
realize that you control your own destiny.

14.
i'm not homesick, i'm just so sick of going home.

15.
How do I change? If I feel depressed I will sing. If I feel sad I will laugh. If I feel ill I will double my labour. If I feel fear I will plunge ahead. If I feel inferior I will wear new garments. If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice. If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come. If I feel incompetent I will think of past success. If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals. Today I will be the master of my emotions.
-Og Mandino